Six Degrees of Seperation
by j. alfred prufrock
Summary: Everyone has a friend who has a cousin who has a co-worker who has a sister who knows your mum and so you can never get away. It’s the like six degrees of separation only worse. Percy/Oliver slash


**A/N:** Oh, my God, two fics in one week! I do believe I spy four horsemen riding down my street as I type this. Takes place in the "and the red light was my mind" universe.

**Disclaimer:** None of this is mine, everything belongs to its respectful owner and I am making no profit off of this. All I own is my shitty computer and the cute dress I bought today.

**i.**

It's moderately ridiculous how fucking incestuous the entire wizarding community is.

It's not just the bloodlines, although those are incestuous in the literal manner, but it's how everyone knows everyone. Everyone has a friend who has a cousin who has a co-worker who has a sister who knows your mum and so you can never get away. It's the like six degrees of separation only worse.

So, of course Percy knows all about everyone's affairs, especially the very public exploits of one Oliver Wood who was now the full-time Keeper for Puddlemere.

In September of 1996, shortly after soundly beating the Magpies, Oliver was spotted holding hands with singer VV Newtwart (which was, in Percy's personal opinion, a ridiculous stage name). Photographs don't lie and soon every tabloid from _Spell Daily_ to _The Weekly Wizard_ and even the _Prophet_'s sports section had their handholding and kissing splashed all over their glossy pages in full color and headlines wondered when the wedding was and did anyone else think that VV had a bit of a bump?

By December of that year, Oliver released a public statement that his and VV's relationship was purely platonic and, sure enough, by February she was engaged to another Qudditch player.

In March, stage actress and playwright Elena Jupiter announced that she and Oliver were engaged and the wedding was scheduled for May of the following year.

Of course, everyone creamed themselves over this, because Elena was highly regarded as one of the most beautiful women in the country and maybe the world, and Oliver had always been known for his good-looks and they would be considered a "power couple."

Soon, Percy can't get away from everyone clamoring over the couple. It's bad enough that headlines champion them as the "Most Attractive Couple in the World" and everything in print it seems has Jupiter's perfectly chiseled face on it, but everyone he speaks to either knows Wood personally or knows someone who did, so everyone's asking if Percy's going to be at the wedding.

"We were roommates in school," is always his terse reply. "We weren't even friends."

It's a lie, of course – they were the best of friends, but they've drifted out of touch since graduation and, while Percy sends the odd postcard, the most he sees of Oliver is when he's in the papers.

He pretends that this is fine with him.

**ii.**

Even though Percy Weasley is definitely _not_ a quitter, he gives job relocation some serious thought when he learns that Oliver Wood's favorite cousin is going to start working in the same office.

Percy has never had a problem with Juliette Wood as a person, because they attended Hogwarts together and she was always very kind to him, even though she was one year his junior and, while he wouldn't describe her as a trouble maker, he would call her free-spirited, and free-spirited people never adhered to the rules exactly like Percy liked.

For example, she used to play lots of card games and gamble in the common room and at one point during an extremely high-stakes game of Muggle poker, she'd "lost" Oliver's prized copy of _Qudditch Teams of Britain and Ireland_ signed by Kennilworthy Whisp himself and Oliver had to personally track down the boy who had it before he could get it back.

But Juliette was nice enough and Percy knew she was a hard worker, so he didn't really have a problem with her. Also, it looked as though she'd stopped wearing the copious amounts of eyeliner and chipped nail polish that she loved in her youth.

She goes to Percy before he has the chance to process how much she's changed and she grins at him, and she's still the same girl he knew because her eyes are still wide and dark even though she has a fringe now and her hair is brushed and neatly pulled back. "Percy _Weasley_!" she exclaims and pulls him into a hug (he reciprocates after a full thirty seconds of standing rigidly), before asking him out to drinks.

Even though his brain is protesting, he answers, "yes" without a second thought.

**iii.**

Juliette orders herself a vodka martini and Percy asks for an ale.

"I don't usually drink," he begins as their server places the drinks in front of them.

"You haven't changed much at all," Juliette laughs, her voice still raspy and Scottish. "Come on, Percy, drink up. A toast to meeting old friends again." She raises her glass to him and takes a sip.

Percy smiles a little. "You haven't changed, either. I remember finding you passed out on the stairs in my sixth year because you paid my brothers to buy you alcohol." Maybe it's the alcohol warming in his stomach or the fact that Juliette reminds him of Oliver in the best possible way, but he finds himself relaxing.

Taking another sip, Juliette laughs and shakes her head. "Yeah, well, I was a stupid kid. I still am. Stupid, I mean. Not a kid. Not really."

She's still a kid to Percy, who still sees her as the girl with the bitten-down nails and messy hair. He loses himself for a moment, replaying moments with her cousin in school and thinking about Elena Jupiter with her sweet smile and long dark hair and how you can't always get what you want (that was a song, he's almost positive, and Oliver loved it, _no, don't think about him, stop it and get a fucking grip_) when Juliette starts talking again.

"You still talk to Oliver?"

"No," Percy answers shortly. He can't use his line on her, because she knows better.

"You should, you know. He misses you. And I'm pretty sure you're missing him."

"I am not." Percy says this with more conviction than he thought possible.

Juliette sighs loudly. "Drink up, Percy. We've got some talking to do."

**iv.**

Percy is on his third whiskey (Juliette is nursing her second martini) and his glasses are askew as he babbles about how amazing Oliver is. Juliette diplomatically nods her head whenever Percy admits what he loves about Oliver (his hands, his face, his feet, his modesty, his skills on the Quidditch pitch and"pretty much everything," Percy blabs) and then she asks, "Did you ever, I dunno, consider _telling_ him this?"

"What? No, fuck, no," Percy swears, his words slurred. "I mean, he's… He's a great bloke, but I dun think he'd wanna hear that I'm…"

"As flaming as your hair?" Juliette supplies helpfully.

Percy looks up at her and nods. "Yeah. Yeah, thassa good way of putting it." He looks at his watch. "I should pro'ly get goin'. I hafta get up early tomorrow an' I need some sleep."

Juliette smiles a little. "Want some help home?"

Leaning heavily on Juliette, Percy walks (or, more accurately, stumbles) his way home.

The following morning, he goes into the office with a splitting headache and news of Oliver Wood's _very_ public breakup with Elena Jupiter buzzing in his ears.

He is almost positive he's not imagining Juliette's dark eyes on him.

**v.**

Two weeks later, there is a knock on the door.

Oliver Wood is on Percy's front step, looking tanned and beautiful and very, very nervous. He sort of rolls on the balls of his feet and he says, "Hi."

"Hello," Percy greets, wary and suspicious. "What's going on?"

Oliver kisses him, and he tastes of sunshine and grass and surprise, and nothing like Penelope, Percy thinks as he kisses him back.

"I missed you," Oliver sort of whispers, sounding a bit sad as he presses his forehead against Percy's.

Percy kisses Oliver again, and seriously hopes that there aren't any cameras around.

_end_


End file.
